This is goodbye
by Hayley666
Summary: One-shot. Joy can't deal with her life anymore. WARNING: includes dark themes. Cutting/self-harm and suicide


**Author's note**

Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic, hope you like it. English is not my mother tongue, so please tell me my mistakes so I can correct them.

Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters (i think I'm supposed to write this. I've seen it in other fanfics)

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Joy's pov

NO, NO, NO, how could this be happening? First Fabian ignores me and turns me down for everything I ask him. Now I had to dump Jerome only to please Mara. God, he will never forgive me. I truly broke his heart, I can see it in his eyes. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I run up the stairs. I have to get away from him... and Mara. I don't think I can stand her being happy about the break up. At least she got what she wanted... As I get in my room I close the door quietly so no one notices that I'm in here. I can't hold it in any more and I sink to my knees crying. This is not the first time I felt this way, broken, but it has never been so bad. There is only one thing I could think of now. My little box that I kept hidden in the back of my dresser. My little precious box containing the thing I couldn't live without, my razor. I get up heading for my dresser when I hear someone entering the room. I quickly wipe my tears away and smile like I always do. It's Patricia.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I answer as nonchalantly as I can.

"Well you kinda stormed out of the living room" she points out.

Ugh I'm not in the mood for a lecture from her, I just want her to get out of the room "no that was nothing, I just want to finish my homework early" I give her the first excuse that came in my head.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it" she says leaving.

Finally, she's gone. Now I can get back to what I was about to do. As I reach for the box, the compressed tears start to flow again. As I hold the razor over my hand, I can feel the little control I have left in my life. And then, for the millionth time since I stated school here, I slash my wrist. The blood is starting to flow. Satisfied, that's how I would usually feel. But not now, not after what just happened. Sadness and anger and desperation take over me. I don't know what else to do other than do it again and again and again. Wow... I've never done it this bad... my arms are covered in blood and the rest of it is dripping on the floor. God, now I have to clean up as well! I quickly run to the bathroom to wash my arms before my blood gets on anything else. I turn on the water and put my arms under the stream. The water gets pink as it takes away the evidence of what I had done. After that I bandaged them up and went back to the room to clean up. Now that I'm done I can go downstairs to apologize to Jerome. As I enter the room he just walks out. He doesn't even want to talk to me. I go after him, desperately trying to show him how sorry I am and that I didn't want to break up with him.

"Just stop following me" he tells me annoyed before entering his room

"But..." the words don't come out of my mouth

"You let Mara use you as a puppet. You are useless Joy. I don't even know why I dated you" he says rather quiet and shuts the door in my face.

He's right... I am I puppet. I am useless, worthless... nobody wants me here. Nobody needs me. So why am still here? Why am I still pretending that things will go back to normal? Why am I hoping that I will have a happy life? I won't... I know it. I will always have the scars on my arms to remind me of all that I've been through... I will always have the painful memories... Why am I still here? Exactly, there's no reason why I should stay. Stay and bring down the lives of the people I love down with me. So this is my decision. I'm leaving their lives for good. But I still want to see all of them one last time. I go downstairs, to the living room.

"Hey everyone" I say as happily as I can, considering the fact I will kill myself minutes from now.

"Hey Joy" I get a few responses back.

Most of them don't even care to say hey. This is enough. I can't stand everyone ignoring me. I run back to my room and kneel in front of the mirror crying. "No, no, no" I whisper silently. This is my end, I can feel it as I brush my hair for the last time. I get my hand on the razor again. It's coolness is soothing the pain inside of me. I unwrap the bandage from my arms. Now that they are bare and I can see all the scars from over the years. As I hold the blade over my wrist, I say my goodbyes to the people I love. Bye Jerome, you were my only true love. Bye Patricia, my best ever. Bye Fabian, you helped me through a lot of stuff, thank you. Bye Nina, I didn't really know you but I'm sure we could have been friend. And lastly, bye Mara, my friend who ultimately drove me to this. I am done with life. I touch the cold blade to my wrist one last time. And then I push it in, deep, and pull it across my wrist. Strangely, I don't feel anything at all. Then I slit my other wrist and just wait to die. I feel happy that I'm finally going to escape this horrible world. I'm happy because I'm dying, are my last thoughts as my vision does dark.


End file.
